About me:
Hey, y’all! Last thing I remember it was like 2004, and I just wanted out. I left a note on my website, and that’s the last thing I know.
Now, I’m looking at photos and videos of myself and I’m like: WTF!!!!!
LOOK AT THIS ---
Did I really marry a guy with a tracksuit that said "Pimps" on it?
Did I really do this tv show?
Looks like this was pretty much on the money, right?
When did I stop wearing underpants?
Hey, who doesn’t play “catch the baby?”
And why did I break up with Justin?
There’s tons more stuff I can’t figure out! So here’s how you can help me – especially you other celebrities! Put pictures and video in the comments section and explain what the hell I was doing!!!! Thanks, y’all!
Who I'd like to meet:
Anyone who was with me who isn’t going to tell me I’m great. PLEASE, everyone… just say no to Britney once in a while, okay?
Oh, and Oliver Sacks. (look it up, dumbasses!)
Oh, and Matt Lauer. How dare you let me look like that on TV!
Drunken tramp! Hey,wanna go to the Ivy tonight? I can some premium coke! We can do it off the baby changer in the bathroom! Hahahahaha!! You are a terrible person. I am just sayin'.
Hey Britney!
I'd fuck you any day of the week, you nickel plated bimbo! I live in the Sunnyvale Trailer Park, so you should come with me. With your money, we could buy a double wide, and you'd be my BITCH, and you could get medical treatment for your fucked up-ness because here in Canada we got medical care and stuff. You might not like the price of liquor, though, but we get health care, and you need some, because you are one fucked up bitch. So leave your trailerpark behind and come to mine and be my baby, you tweaked out dingbat bitch! I love you too!
Get well soon, love! Looks like you had a pretty rough night. That would've scared the bollocks out of me. Good thing you had a sense of humor about it!
Hey Britney,
I miss you.
Love always,
Michael Jackson
P.S. Anytime you need a day to yourself.... I'd love to watch the kids ;).
P.S.S. Don't listen to everyone calling you a stupid hoe... They're ignorant!
