Ellen DeGeneres
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Sex: Apparently newsworthy
Age: 1
Location: In communiqué with Housewife Phone Chain
Last Login: 01/29/08
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http://www.FriendSpaceBook.com/EllenDeGeneres |
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Ellen DeGeneres's Interests
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General
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Laughter, tomfoolery, crowd work, my mental stranglehold on women aged 35-65 |
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Music
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On camera - Abba, John Mayer, Gloria Gaynor.
Off camera - "Flight of the Valkyries."
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Movies
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Finding Nemo, Dr. Dolittle, Scanners |
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Books
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My Point...And I Do Have One, The Funny Thing Is..., The Art of War
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Heroes
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Machiavelli |
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Ellen DeGeneres's Details
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| Status: | Laughing maniacally |
| Here for: | To alert Ellen devotees worldwide to those who've wronged me and have consequently threatened their syndicated television lifeline |
| Orientation: | Pick up any magazine from '97 |
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Body type:
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Constantly in motion
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| Ethnicity: | Macarenan |
| Religion: | Electric Slide |
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Zodiac Sign:
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Limbo pole
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| Education: | Frug, Samba, Time Warp |
| Occupation: | Estrogenic focal point |
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Ellen DeGeneres is in your extended network
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Ellen DeGeneres's Blurbs
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About me:
Oh, that was fun. Thank you, ladies. Thank you. Back at ya!
Well, I have to be honest. Today's not going to be all about doing the Mashed Potato to "Crazy Little Thing Called Love." I have some business to discuss. Now, this is pretty important so I'll need all of you at home to grab a pad and pen. While you do that, let's all give Gina Hayworth from Sandusky, Ohio a big round of applause. Wasn't she great?
OK. As many of you have probably heard, I and a very close friend of mine have run into a bit of trouble with a pet adoption agency called the Mutts and Moms Dog Rescue agency. I had adopted an adorable little puppy who, unfortunately, didn't get along with my other pets. So I decided to give him to the family of my hairdresser. But apparently, Mutts and Moms frowns upon pet owners giving away their lovable animals to better homes with precious little girls seen here. Can we get a close up of this picture? Thanks. The police eventually came, confiscated the furry little guy, and essentially tore the family apart. The children were devastated, as shown in this picture. Close up? Thanks.
Now I recently heard that many of you had phoned in death threats towards the owners of the adoption agency. I just want to go on record as saying that wasn't right. I don't approve of this, and I would like all of you to know that isn't an appropriate means to an end.
You have to do so much more. So, so much more.
Ladies and gentleman, I'm urging all of you, if you enjoy this show and believe my wacky antics have filled your hearts in between The Today Show's cooking segment and The Price Is Right's showcase showdown, organize. Organize and march down to the Mutts and Moms Dog Rescue agency. And tear that motherfucker down! Call the phone number seen here and find out the rendezvous point nearest you.
I want the owners of that agency stripped from the safety of their bricks and mortars and put on display. At this point, their punishment is up to you. I recommend bamboo chutes and flaming hot pokers, but that's entirely up to you. Just make sure to get it on camera. If you do, I'll send you a free t-shirt!
Thank you everyone for listening. And now, check out these crazy items I found in SkyMall!
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Who I'd like to meet:
The still-beating hearts ripped from the chests of the owners of Mutts and Moms Dog Rescue.
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| Ellen DeGeneres's Friend Space |
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Ellen DeGeneres has 11 friends.
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Ellen DeGeneres's Friend's Comments
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Displaying 1 of
8
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Dorothy Zbornak
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Jun 22 2008 11:06 AM
If you ever break up with Portia, my friend Jean would love to meet you. I'm surprised though, she usually doesn't have taste. She still has the hots for Rose, FFS.
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morrisey mopes
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Feb 10 2008 03:49 PM
I would love to be on your show! But I think our gayness together would open a rift in the universe,unseen since "High School Musical"
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CupChicks
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Jan 24 2008 11:21 AM
hehehe we're pretty open to just about anything! We're so wild!!! lolz
We'll get you, my pretty, and your little dog, too (in our next film)!! ;)
xoxoxoxoxo
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Scarlett
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Nov 05 2007 04:28 PM
Hey sweet cheeks, how's tricks??
S x
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Charlize Theron
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Oct 25 2007 06:03 PM
For the love of God, I'm sorry I canceled at the last minute! Please, let your viewers know I'm sorry. They have my mom!!!
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Tyler Perry
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Oct 25 2007 06:02 PM
I didn't mean to make it seem like I was ignoring you at that party. I legitimately didn't see you! Jesus! Oh, God! They're coming!!! Ellen, you have to stop them!!!
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Mischa Barton
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Oct 25 2007 01:36 PM
I'll do whatever it takes Ellen!!! I thought of adopting from them a while back, but when I read their contract there was NO WAY I was gonna sign that agreement!!
I mean there are many provisions in this contract I would not sign:
- Indefinite right of home inspection
- No right of transfer
- Requirement to pay legal fees of the rescue organization in case of legal dispute.
- Indefinite right of reclaim at the sole discretion of the rescue organization.
- Not allowed to have the dog ride, unrestrained, in the back seat of a car.
- Not allowed to tie up your dog to any fixed object (ever).
- Animal must be permanently "branded" as belonging to the rescue organization (via microchip).
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Dick Cheney
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Oct 22 2007 06:00 PM
Heyyy, pal! Just wondering how those interrogation techniques went over. Like I don't already know! Haha. Talk to you soon.
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