About me:
Look bitches, I fucking invented nature shows. Trials of Life? Life on Earth, Living Planet, The Private Life of Plants? Ring a fucking bell, you assholes? Morgan Freeman narrates about a bunch of penguins - big fucking deal. Call me a brick mason because I fucking laid the foundation. They didn't knight me because I wrestled an alligator or two. Planet Earth? Sure, big fucking deal. I narrated that shit in the UK, but you don't know that, because they let Sigourney Weaver do it for the dumb Americans. Said they wanted a "fresh" voice. Yeah, seems like they got fresh all right - fresh as the shit I just took. If you want to have your bloody mind blown, I suggest netflixing the proper english version, that shit is brilliant. By the way, did I mention I'm a fucking knight?
Who I'd like to meet:
Sigourney Fucking Weaver
Morgan Fucking Freeman
Steve Fucking Irwin - oh, that's right, he's fucking dead
