Miracles, parables, framing houses, fishing, circuit training
Music
Grateful Dead, Phish, harps, psalteries, cymbals, hatsotsras and occasionally some soft shofar.
Movies
I'd have to go with Robert Powell in Jesus of Nazareth. I wish I had those eyes. And sorry Mel, I love ya', but it wasn't all THAT bad.
Television
Early Simpsons, Adult Swim, early Family Guy, The Office (English version) Reno 911
Books
Bang! Getting Your Message Heard in A Noisy World by Linda Kaplan Thaler, Effective Communication by Chris Roebuck.
Heroes
My Father.
Jesus Christ!'s Details
Status:
Ascended
Hometown:
Nazareth
Body type:
Lean
Religion:
C'mon.
Zodiac Sign:
Capricorn
Children:
One of 6,585,066,540
Occupation:
Carpenter
Jesus Christ! is in your extended network
Jesus Christ!'s Latest Blog Entry
Look, I've turned water into wine, I'm not gonna' show up on a tree stump in Oaxaca, Mexico. That’s Copperfield level garbage. (view more)
Where would the wires even connect? Who the hell had wire? Walking on water was about teaching faith... CHEATING WOULD DEFEAT THE PURPOSE!! (view more)
If I get one more question about how I healed the decapitated ear... I JUST WANTED YOU TO LEARN NOT TO LIVE BY THE SWORD! (view more)
I fast in the desert for 40 days and 40 night and get tempted by the devil to prove I'm the son of God and you want to know if I hid food in my beard? (view more)
No, there wasn't a trick wall. You're really missing the point of the resurrection. (view more)
About me:
As a magician and the central figure of Christianity, I'm a little upset that most of my followers don’t appreciate the important messages behind my prestidigitation. Sure, my tricks have been spectacular -- healings, exorcisms, walking on water, turning water into wine, and raising people from the dead (you're welcome Lazarus) but really, they were just eye candy to get you to pay attention to my teachings of repentance, unconditional love, forgiveness and grace. So, until you people realize that it’s not just about the ‘How’d he do that?’ I will not be rising back again in glory to judge the living and the dead. I'm serious. Don’t test your lord and savior.
Who I'd like to meet:
The people who still insist on referring to me as Jesus of Nazareth. No offense, but I think we can lose the '...of Nazareth'. I don't think I'm consistently confused with any other Jesuses. So, again, forgive me, but it's just really annoying.
Hey J-DOG could ya bring me back to life so I can listen to some good music besides your happy ass crap?! also I want to kick Chuck Norris' ass again, bastard thinks just because I'm dead he can take all my fame
Nice to see you on here. I can't wait to go heaven and meet you. I hope that me being in a movie where my character was for abortion won't prevent me from going there. *fingers crossed*
N u know what else, SCREW U DUDE!!!! Not only did u smear my name for all of eternity, u went and had ur people bury my journal in the friggin desert..... Dude u are ruthless, Thank G....wait well thank national goegraphic i have the proof now!
BOO!!!!! Betcha never thought you'd see me again huh? Yea well tough friggin luck dude... I can believe you have been having ur peeps going around sayin im a Snitch!! Dude thats sooooo not kosher. Y dont u tell them the truth JC....
I like to think that you still love me despite the whole suicide thing. If you do, I'll dedicate my next poetry book to you. If not, I intend to take a whole generation of emo kids to Hell with me.
